Sex Tips - Your First Time sex

First time sex is reckoned by many. Did you like the experience or do you remember it with a lot of disgust? If you are not yet there i know you anticipate for the experience. Why are you always dreaming about making love to your new catch. Because the first impression matters. It might be your very first time to have sex or a first time sex with a lover. You two have never been together again sexually so the conduct will be highly judged. First time sex is sensitive since it determines our views about sex. Loosing virginity is not a simple idea. One thing is for sure that you certainly never forget your first time sex. Here i have some tips to see you through your first time sex.

Self sexual awareness is very important. Get to learn what turns you on and feels better than the other. Here i am advocating for masturbation. Touch yourself and learn what feels good. This will help you communicate during your first time sex with a partner. Tell him/her what drives you crazy. Try as much as possible to be sober since you want to remember the experience for a long time. Most people think that alcohol or drugs will make the first time sex easier but i beg to disagree. When you are sober you will not do anything regrettable. All the moves will be well calculated.

Whatever you do make your first time sex safe. It is a funny sex myth that the first encounter should be flesh to flesh. You do not want to get sexually transmitted diseases and conceive with the first time. It would be an ugly incident. For great first time sex, you must fantasize. Great goals are achieved through dreams. You have to imagine to see it. Keep on imagining how you would make love to your partner or how she would make love to you. How she would feel. On the other hand, avoid great unrealistic expectations. First time sex is to help you learn each others chemistry. What turns them on and turns you on. If you fail to reach orgasm, do not make fuss about it.

During first time sex you should know that sex is not all about the interaction of your sexual organs. It is also about flesh to flesh type of love as you express the desire for love. Take your time and undress slowly by slowly while you appreciate every piece of flesh newly exposed . Their will be plenty of time to do the actual thing in the future if you learn each other at this crucial moment. Smell her armpits, bite her neck, kiss her belly, cuddle her breasts, massage her elbows or buttocks and do all the unusual things. There is so much erotism in this. Many people spoil the first time sex by engaging in rough direct penetrative sex. If you do this i doubt if you will be looking forward for a repeat of the same. When first time sex is made of sexual study it builds anticipation. You will be looking forward to doing it again and again.

Eat Me

Great sex, like a great meal, is bursting with ways to delight your senses. Incorporating tastes, textures, and smells from the kitchen into your sex life is not only delicious, but it can make sex incredibly exotic and exciting as well. Think about how sexy it is to watch the object of your desire seductively lick, suck, or nibble on their food; now imagine them licking, sucking, or nibbling that tasty morsel off you.

The kitchen is ripe with props to use for a delicious romp. Use items with especially appealing smells, tastes, textures, or temperatures. One particularly delectable treat to try is nutella. It's sticky (less runny than chocolate sauce), and ever so tasty. Try spreading it on your partner's armpits, nipples, loins, toes, wrists etc. Then lap away and watch your partner go wild while you enjoy a yummy treat. A fun game, I learned about recently involves blindfolding your partner then spreading things on their erogenous zones and have them guess what it is as you lick, suck, or gnaw it off them. You can give them hints by kissing them after licking it off or slipping one of your treat-laden fingers into their mouth. You can also give them some tasty hints to your own pleasure trail by smearing a little pathway along your body that you'd like them to follow with their tongue. Another game is to paint pictures or messages on your partner and have them guess what you're drawing. Some caveats here: people are often tempted to heat things like marshmallows and hot fudge sauce. Please do remember that one's naughty bits are especially sensitive so checking the temperature before application is imperative. Also feel free to spread food over the body, but inserting food into the vagina is a no-no. If you like the thought of new tastes in the bedroom, but don't want the mess, try flavored condoms or lubes (a nice one to try is the new "Good Head" minty lube at www.intimategifts.com).

Hot and cold sensations are also very stimulating. Tracing an ice cube or Popsicle over your partner's body (preferably once you've gotten them a little hot and bothered) will drive your partner wild. Drive them even crazier by alternating between hot and cold by kissing or licking them after taking sips of ice water and then hot water or tea (again I don't mean scorching hot here).

You can also appeal to sensation by using carbonation like champagne bubbles. Pour a little bubbly on to your partner's nipples and then allow it to bubble a little before you slurp it up, for extra pleasure blow on the bubbles as they fizz. Another sensational trick is using mentholatum or minty product to thrill your partner. Brush your teeth, or pop a mint or lozenge in your mouth before going down on your man or before kissing your lady's nipples. There is an extra exhilarating sensation both from the freshness, but also the extra texture as you move it around in your mouth against the skin. There is a heated internal debate among the Naughty Girl Collective over which is more effective here altoids or halls. Not sure who you agree with? Only one way to find out …

The P-Spot

Ah the perineum, that sweet little patch of skin located between the scrotum or vulva and anus. I'll never forget the first time I happened upon the area in question; just tracing my fingers and then tongue over the perineum nearly had him levitating off the bed. It was like magic! Or so I thought, as it turns out the perineum is a sensory jackpot; jam-packed with nerve endings. Tantric sex practitioners have long known the power of stimulating the perineum. Stirring a little excitement in the area is said to unleash latent energy, release endorphins, and increase blood flow, all leading to greater pleasure.

Ok, I know that's all well and good, but I bet your wondering how to unleash all this pleasure. It's almost too easy! Even for the most self-conscious lover, this zone is user-friendly. It's got none of the intimidating geography of places located slightly north or south. The perineum is a simple little patch of skin that just wants a little TLC. Massaging it, tracing your finger over it, sucking and licking it all do the trick. When massaging, pressure should be firm, but not fierce. Whilst licking or stroking this area it's good to get a rhythm or pattern going. I like to trace a figure eight with my tongue which seems to work nicely :).

Stimulate the area is once your partner is already excited. During oral sex or a hand job, drop downwards and begin to fire things up in the p-spot. Another wonderful idea is to massage the area during or just before he cums. Guys, those lucky sucks, are more sensitive in this area than women, but we in the Naughty Girl Collective would like to remind you fellas not to neglect our p-spots either! Although it's a little less powerful, p-spot stimulation is pleasurable for women as well. Many guys feel compelled to focus all their attention on the upper region of women's genitals while going down on her or touching her. Don't get me wrong … we would like you to spend a lot of time up there, but it's worthwhile to dip down to the lower area and perineum as well. But don't take my word for it, get down there and see for yourself!

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Somebody recently asked me what I thought was the secret ingredient to a good lover. I was searching for some magic trick or talent that sets good lovers apart from the bad when I realized, the best lover I ever had didn’t have any fancy tricks up his sleeve, he simply appreciated the fine art of foreplay. Oftentimes we get so excited and swept away when we know we’re about to get some that we just go right for the gold. Now I’m not saying that there isn’t a time and a place for a good quickie, but rather that we should invest the time into foreplay when and where we have the opportunity and willpower. Taking the time and delaying the pleasure even by a few minutes can dramatically intensify and improve your sexual encounter.

I’ve often heard people joke about not believing in foreplay and ask only half-kiddingly what the point is. What’s in it for me you ask? Plenty! The more you please your partner the more into the sex they will be, and the more likely they are to want to reciprocate. Plus, it’s exciting and satisfying to know that you can drive your partner mad with lust. It’s always nice to feel wanted, and trust me after a healthy dose of foreplay; you’ll have your partner begging you to get down.

There’s also the obvious advantage that ensures that you are both physically ready for sex. For women this is crucial, because it means that she will be wetter and lubrication in the genitals means more pleasure for the woman and a more enjoyable ride for her partner.

Urgent hurried sex can be a lot of fun, but you do lose a lot in the mix. Slowly seducing your partner allows you to try different techniques, apply different intensities and explore less obvious erogenous zones. Try touching, licking, kissing, and sucking your partner all over and watch their reactions to discover their unique turn-ons. If you hear a little gasp or moan or notice their breathing getting heavier, chances are you’re on the right track. Knowing how to push each others buttons will increase pleasure and also allow you to get to know each other more intimately.

Work slowly towards the actual sex. Leave their genitals for last, but tease them by lavishing attention on their stomachs and thighs. Let them know the sex is coming, but delay it until you both can’t stand it anymore then give in and treat your sex to wild sex. This naughty girl assures you … anticipation is a potent aphrodisiac.

Natural Changes In Women

While it is a fallacy to assume that as we age we lose our desire for sexual intimacy, it is true that some natural changes in the body may affect how we experience sex. Sexual changes in women are natural and a result of the body's changing role in its post-fertile stages. The most significant changes sexually are related to menopause, or the cessation of ovulation. These changes may require a new outlook on sex and the way it is practiced. Knowing the facts about how the body changes is the first step.

How does menopause affect the body sexually?

Menopause is perhaps the greatest physical change a woman faces in middle age. Menopause generally alters sexual response and even the physical structure of the vagina. The major changes with regards to sex are thinning and shortening of the vaginal canal and decreased lubrication. This is sometimes accompanied by a decrease in the size of the vagina. Fatty deposits found in the labia majora are lost causing a typically smaller vagina than in earlier life. The combination of reduced lubrication and a smaller vagina may make coitus uncomfortable.

What can be done to counteract these changes?

Lubrication

The single best way to make sex more comfortable after menopause is the use of personal lubricants during sex. One popular choice is Astroglide, which is available in online and in many stores. Astroglide is very popular because it is extremely viscous and has a faint pleasant taste. If you don't know where to start, then it's your best bet. Shop around at sensual boutiques and experiment with different lubricants.

Replacing the body's natural lubrication can make sex as exciting and rewarding as it was before. The clitoris and other sexual organs are still sexually sensitive, and remain so throughout life.

You can also try I.D. Pleasure a high-market lubricant containing L-Arginine. L-Arginine is a non-essential amino acid which, through clinical testing, has been shown to enhance sexual arousal in both men and women. When ID Pleasure is applied to the clitoris, vaginal walls or penis for lubrication the L-Arginine will increase the blood flow to the region, heightening sensitivity. Heightened sensitivity, in turn, naturally results in a greater responsiveness to sexual stimulation.

Positive Thinking

Thinking positively about menopause is also important. Menopause is a meaningful time in a woman's life which has some significant benefits. Pregnancy is no longer possible and many women feel that this decreases their level of anxiety during sex. They find themselves more relaxed so they enjoy the experience more. Abstaining from sex during menstruation (which so many couples unnecessarily do) are no longer issues in a woman's life. As a result many women find menopause to be quite a relief. Additionally, the shrinkage in the size of the vagina may mean that more direct and intense stimulation takes place. A smaller vagina means more friction and closer contact with the nerves which produce sexual pleasure. Aging can create a new range of sensations as long as couples learn how to adapt.

Hormone Treatments

Hormone replacement therapy is a way some women deal with menopausal side effects. This may or may not be an option for you. Ask your physician for the facts on this treatment possibility.

Natural Changes In Men

What are erectile difficulties?

As men age the ability to achieve an erection is affected. An erection will take longer to achieve, and will not be as firm as in youth. Some may find it difficult to achieve an erection at all. The causes of erectile difficulties can be either psychological or physiological, with psychological causes thought to be most prevalent. The anxiety and pressure that a man might face as his body changes, may act as a catalyst for erectile difficulties. Achieving an erection becomes a process of prolonged stimulation and intimacy. It may take more vigorous manual or oral stimulation for men to get firm. Some couples find it helpful to place the flaccid penis inside the vagina as a means of stimulation. Experimenting with different forms of stimulation will increase sexual satisfaction while it helps the male to achieve an erection.

What is impotence?

Impotence is the inability to have an erection. The causes of impotence are most often psychological, although some physical ailments may contribute to erectile failure. (For a more detailed description of the causes of erectile failure, please look in our section on sexual problems.) The prospect of impotence can scare many men away from sexual intimacy, but learning how to cope with you or your partner's decreased potency can be an effective way in restoring his confidence and interest in sex.

Impotence is a condition which will affect virtually every man in his lifetime. It can be embarrassing and discouraging but it is usually temporary. Impotence normally becomes a major problem when the man feels that it is. In other words, when a man puts unnecessary pressure upon himself to perform, he usually becomes more frustrated and less able to perform. If impotence is a problem between you and your partner, there are many techniques which you can try before you go see a doctor or sex therapist.

What can be done about erectile failure?

Viagra

Undoubtedly the most-hyped drug of the last 5 years, Viagra has now been prescribed over 20 million times. If you or your partner has a type of impotence that responds to medical treatment, Viagra should be considered. It is an effective treatment and is currently thought to have few side effects. Among healthy men taking the pill, the most common side effects include headache, facial flushing and stomach upset.

Men taking a nitrate (such as nitroglycerin) for chest pain should not be prescibed Viagra. Viagra when taken in combination with nitrates can be a deadly combination.

Consult your physician for more information and to see if this treatment is right for you.

For those not eligible for Viagra, a wide array of alternative treatments exist. With a patient and understanding partner, any male can enjoy sex throughout life.

Relearning How to Stimulate

The stimulation felt by the male decreases during the aging process, therefore it may take more stimulation to create an erection. Oral or manual stimulation of his penis may be required to achieve an erection. Some men find that the only thing that will give them an erection is oral stimulation. Not only the type but the amount of stimulation may have to change as well. Some men will require almost constant stimulation of the penis to achieve an erection. If your partner finds this to be a difficult task, a vibrator could be used to give him/her a rest. A product that can help out is I.D. Pleasure, a high-market lubricant containing L-Arginine. L-Arginine is a non-essential amino acid which, through clinical testing, has been shown to enhance sexual arousal in both men and women. When ID Pleasure is applied to the clitoris, vaginal walls or penis for lubrication the L-Arginine will increase the blood flow to the region, heightening sensitivity. Heightened sensitivity, in turn, naturally results in a greater responsiveness to sexual stimulation.

Avoid pulling too aggressively on the penis, as this tends to encourage blood flow toward the body. Squeezing the tip or shaft of the penis too tightly may also reduce turgidity. While oral and manual stimulation are an effective means of attaining erection for most men, it does not work for everyone. Vaginal intercourse is the preferred method of many men. Often what works best for some couples is that the man places his flaccid penis in the woman's vagina. Then she begins to flex the vaginal muscles near the opening which can assist erection.

Reducing Stress

The most important aspect in combating impotence is to ensure that the man is comfortable. The pressure to perform can be the cause of impotence. If the man feels that he is under a lot of stress, he may have difficulty achieving erection. If the man feels relaxed then he will be more easily able to become erect.

Sexual Products

Products have been developed to help men with erectile problems. One such product is a so called "Cock Ring". Available in most sex boutiques and through mail order catalogs, the Cock Ring is an elastic rubber ring that slips over the man's partially erect penis and does not allow blood to leave. This helps to maintain the erection. Often these cock rings have some form of stimulator attached to them so that the person being penetrated gains additional stimulation. A particularly good ring is the Diving Dolphin. This blue jelly ring has two vibrating bullets that allow both partners to enjoy the stimulation during sex. If you prefer something a little more simple and without vibration, you can try the Adjustable Ring, which allows you to control the amount on pressure and fits men of any size.

Another product which you may wish to inquire about is the Prosthetic Penis Attachment (P.P.A.) This is a sleeve which fits over the partially erect penis to allow penetration to continue. They are usually attached with an elastic cord. P.P.A. are carried by many sex boutiques and mail order services.

Sex & Aging

Having a positive attitude...

We are all victims of the harmful attitudes towards older people in our society. As we age, we will have to deal with the preconceptions which now exist. Now is the time to address harmful stereotypes and insure that elderly people in the future do not have to live with the prejudices that affect them today.

Societal attitudes toward sexuality in later life are troubling. A great number believe that far fewer mature men and women have sex than actually do. Many feel that after a certain age, sexuality becomes an insignificant or indifferent part of life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Most older people experience some interest in sexual intimacy. Many people are sexually intimate well into their 80s and beyond. We do not all of a sudden become asexual beings; our capacity for sexual intimacy will be with us our entire lives. The real differences that exist lie in the way sexuality is expressed. Most anything can be a turn-on at 20, but at 60, after years of sexual experience, expressions of sexuality are more refined, more evolved. The act can be at this time can be a masterwork after years study.

What is the purpose of sex in later life?

As we all approach later life, two of the things which brought us the greatest joy - our children and/or our careers - are no longer as prevalent in our every day. This means that our personal relationships take on an increased importance. It is a way of solidifying our relationship with our partner and taking refuge from the sometimes harsh reality of the world. Sex is a way to affirm the love of life. It is an expression of the satisfaction gained from the present. It expresses the closeness of our deepest relationships and is an important measure of the quality of life.

Playing Alone Together (mutual masturbation)

Masturbation is a supplement to intercourse, rather than a replacement, in many healthy sexual relationships. Besides being extremely safe, sharing your masturbation techniques can be an intimate and productive step. It can, however, be a difficult subject broach with a partner; many people fear that their partner will interpret it as a form of rejection. But those who progressed past this point with their partners almost invariably report having very satisfactory sex lives.

Anyone in a healthy sexual relationship wants above all to please the other person. Showing or telling your partner what you like is one of the quickest routes to this goal, and should in turn provide more pleasure for both of you. Discussing these issues with your partner should prevent any feelings of awkwardness or inadequacy. Instruct your partner and try yourself to be open to instruction. Discovering how your partner reaches orgasm alone can be invaluable when you are attempting please them.

It may be intimidating at first, but masturbating in front of your partner is not only highly erotic; it is a way of sharing the most intimate and personal of activities. In this sense sharing masturbation can be an act of love rather than one of rejection.

Male Masturbation

Masturbation is one of the great delights of human existence, and relieves sexual tension that naturally builds up over time. Your body produces and accumulates semen, and wants you to ejaculate to make room for more. Sometimes this happens through nocturnal emissions, which are commonly called wet dreams.

More often it occurs through masturbation. Self-love is completely safe; it does not affect the structure or shape of your penis nor your reproductive potential, nor does it stunt your growth or lead to testicular cancer. If the stories people used to believe were true, then there would be an awful lot of blind, insane, hairy-palmed people running around!

Another common misconception is that only lonely and unpopular men and boys masturbate. This is far from the truth; anyone who tells you he doesn't masturbate probably feels guilty about his self-pleasuring and wants you to as well. This vicious cycle propagates the unfounded silence and shame that still surrounds masturbation. The fact is that both married and single people masturbate, and one’s level of masturbation does not necessarily depend on how often one has intercourse. So relax.

Boys usually start masturbating quite early, though most don’t ejaculate until around age 12 to 15. Frequency typically peaks around puberty and continues throughout adulthood, even when other forms of sexual activity are available. Still, most adolescent males are embarrassed about masturbation, and only a small percentage discusses it, even with close male friends. Many are terrified that they will be "caught in the act" by a parent, so they learn to get it over with quickly. Only later in life do they learn that the ability to delay orgasm is very important to maximizing sexual pleasure -- all those "quickie" techniques must be unlearned.

Similarly, some adult men try to hide their masturbation from their partners, believing that it might be viewed as a form of rejection. But men who have progressed past this point with their partners almost invariably report having a very satisfactory sex life.

Techniques:

Men employ a variety of masturbation techniques. The simplest is to wrap your fingers around the shaft of your penis, like holding a baseball bat, and rub it up and down. This provides a lot of contact between your hand and the penis the more contact, the more pleasure. There are innumerable variations on this basic technique; experimentation is key. The backhand grip, for instance, is a little difficult at first, but feels great once mastered.

Speed and pressure are completely dependent on what you like. Concentrating at first on the base of the penis and avoiding the tip helps sustain an erection, and is a basic technique for delaying ejaculation. Though most men begin with penile stimulation, the entire groin area becomes more sensitive to the touch during masturbation. Other parts of the body, such as the nipples, can also make masturbation more intense. Naturally, fantasies also add to the pleasure.

If you're looking to up the ante, you should explore the world of sex toys. One of them is bound to provide the stimulation you're looking for. One of the better toys on the market is the Vibrating Oro Stimulator. Alternatively, if you prefer a different sort of design, there are more realistic styled toys such as Cyber Snatch.

Many men use a lubricant. If you are uncircumcised you may not find much need for it, but it really is a matter of personal choice. If you are circumcised and chose not to use lube, you can grip the penis firmly and move the top layer of skin (most effective if the skin is a bit loose), or you can grip lightly and slide your fingers/hand across the surface of the shaft. Be aware, however, that your penis can become raw and sore. Lubricants will solve this problem and make the sensation more intense.

It is not advisable, however, to use household products like shampoo or soap as lubricants. They often irritate and dry out the skin, they sting if they contact the urethra, and they may be oil based, which is unsafe if intercourse with a condom is to follow. Vaseline is great in theory, but again is oil based and a real pain to clean up. The best lubes are water-based gels such as K-Y or the Wet lube products: they have a perfect consistency, clean up easily and will not destroy condoms, so they are best if you are having intercourse afterwards. The only disadvantage is that they dry out quite quickly, so you may need to reapply. Pre-ejaculate is also an excellent lubricant, although the supply may be somewhat limited.

Female Masturbation

Historically, the stigma surrounding masturbation has been skewed against women. The Kinsey Report of 1948 – the first thorough study of human sexual habits found that 92% of males reported having masturbated, as opposed to 62% of females. Perhaps the classic Victorian view of the pure and proper lady laid the foundation for the shame and silence that is more associated with female than with male masturbation.

Females tend to start masturbating later in life than men. This might partly be due to the stigma but it may also be due to the fact that the penis is simply more accessible than female genitalia, and males begin handling their genitals as early as toilet training. As females move from a subordinate role in society towards one of equality, they have become more empowered sexually. As early as the late 1900s, feminists began to speak about their sexuality and encouraged women to find out exactly what they like.

The Kinsey Report challenged many other myths surrounding masturbation, finding that "Masturbation was the most important sexual outlet for single females and the second most important sexual outlet or married females, providing 7-10% of orgasms for those 16-40 years." These findings are significant because they tell us that marital status has very little to do with a woman's masturbatory habits.

Other myths include that which compels many women to hide their masturbation from their partners. Masturbation is a supplement to intercourse, not necessarily a replacement, in many healthy sexual relationships. Reassuring your partner of this can prevent possible feelings of rejection and inadequacy. It might be intimidating at first, but allowing your partner to watch you masturbate can be a very powerful and empowering step. Showing them or being able to tell them what you like will help both of you get the most out of your sex life.

Techniques

The external female genitals are called the vulva. Pubic hair grows on the labia majora or outer vaginal lips; inside are the labia minora, which are pinker and moister. If your own genitals are not familiar to you, you might examine them in a hand mirror while bathing or showering. The clitoris is found where the labia minora join at the top. This highly sensitive pink knob is about the size of a pea and is protected by a hood, which retracts during sexual arousal. Below the clitoris is the tiny opening of the urethra, through which urine passes, and below that is the opening to the vagina.

Masturbation is best when you have plenty of time and when you won't be interrupted. Go somewhere private, quiet and warm. Beyond that, it's completely up to you: some women like to lie on their back, some on their front; some like their legs pressed tightly together, while others like them spread wide apart or propped above the body. Using a lubricant can help while you explore with your fingers or an object such as a vibrator. Experimentation is the key.

Women who need prolonged clitoral stimulation are encouraged to experiment with a vibrator. For some, a vibrator is the only way to reach climax. Women looking for a simple, inexpensive vibrator will want to try the Waterproof Delight. As the name suggests, this vibrator is completely waterproof, allowing you to bring it in the shower or bathtub. Explore your erogenous zones and discover what truly pleases you.

The most common method is to caress and massage the clitoris to orgasm; the clitoris may be covered by skin or partially exposed, so take some time to explore this area carefully. How much and what kind of stimulation works best varies widely from woman to woman, but beginners are encouraged to explore and lightly touch the genital area for pleasure spots, and to stroke and caress these spots as they find them.

Experiment with pressure and speed: many women find the clitoris too sensitive for direct stimulation at first, so you might begin by rubbing the whole vulva before gradually moving to the clitoris with delicate fingers. Combine this stimulation with caressing, massaging and touching of other erogenous areas for maximum pleasure: the breasts, thighs, vaginal lips and vagina itself can all add to the experience.

Some women are able to masturbate by repeatedly squeezing their thighs together and releasing, often with their legs crossed at the knees. The advantages of this are obvious: it can be done discreetly, and it frees up the hands for other things. Contracting the thighs and vaginal muscles often makes clitoral stimulation more intense and pleasurable.

Another popular technique is the "waterfall." Many women enjoy this stream-of-water technique, which is most commonly done in a bathtub with the faucet running, or in the shower with a removable head. Set the water to a comfortable temperature (usually warm) and level of force, and have the water flow directly over the clitoris. This should provide enough pressure to stimulate the clitoris and other erogenous areas to orgasm.

One important note. While vibrators and other stimulators are an excellent way to masturbate, it is never advisable to use household objects. Not only is this unsafe and unhygienic, but a trip to the hospital for removal could be very embarrassing! Vibrators and dildos are safer, more reliable, and almost guarantee orgasm. Vibrators and dildos are also advised for those women who desire intense, continuous stimulation. The Eroscillator II Top Deluxe is a top-of-the-line vibrator endorsed by Dr. Ruth. Any woman experiencing orgasmic difficulty will greatly benefit from this wonderful device.

When you feel a gathering tension in the vaginal area and a build-up of warmth, orgasm is on the way. Don't let up, as if you stop these sensations will fade and it might be difficult to get them back again. The clitoris will become increasingly sensitive whether you are stimulating it directly or not, and then orgasm will break out with waves of vaginal contractions. Most women like some form of genital contact during orgasm: either continued stimulation by inserting a finger or simply by pressing or holding the vaginal area.

Learning to masturbate is in many ways taking control of your sexuality. It is the best way to learn how to orgasm, and knowing your own anatomy and sexual responses is key to enjoying great sex with a partner. Self-love is safe, natural and healthy, and will keep you in touch with your sexual challenges, needs and desires.

A Brief History of Masturbation

Masturbation has been frowned upon throughout history and in nearly ever culture. In ancient times of high infant mortality and low life expectancy, stigmas about self-love were rooted in the belief that it endangered the survival of the species. Men were also believed to have a finite amount of sperm, and thus masturbation was thought of as wasteful. Of course, the 50,000 sperm men produce per minute are more than enough to go around!

Masturbation was also associated with many physical symptoms; psychiatrist Benjamin Rush called it "self-pollution," claiming that it caused headaches, epilepsy, nosebleeds, memory loss, heart murmurs, blindness, and even psychosis. In the 1800s, Sylvester Graham led a health food crusade based on the idea that sexual excess including masturbation, erotic dreams and intercourse more than once a month was caused by rich and spicy foods. He prescribed a bland and boring diet; the Graham cracker, in fact, is a sweetened version of his invention. Corn Flakes were originally designed by John Harvey Kellogg to promote health and decrease sex drive!

In the Victorian Era it was commonly held that, unlike any decent woman, men had an excess of sexual desire and lust. Extramarital sex, homosexuality, oral sex and masturbation were gravely taboo. This is not to say that this side of human sexuality disappeared, of course; it was simply denied, discouraged and condemned. Masturbation is still forbidden today in certain religions and cultures, and even punished or prevented through castration and female circumcision in some areas of the world. As late as 1940, a pediatric text in the US proclaimed masturbation and any other non-reproductive erotic outlet as harmful to the growth of society.

Today we live in a time of overpopulation, when sexuality is no longer tied exclusively to reproduction. We now know that masturbation does not cause disease; in fact, it is widely believed to promote health and well-being. Most problems associated with self-love today are psychological; many people still suffer needlessly from guilt, shame and feelings of isolation.

The 1948 Kinsey Report showed that intercourse, let alone masturbation, was an activity as much to do with pleasure as it was to do with procreation. It turned many ideologies on their ears and raised a great deal of controversy. If the vast majority of the population had masturbated, then why should anyone be ashamed of it? Though not completely "out of the closet" or accepted across cultural barriers, it is increasingly accepted as a natural, healthy, and fundamental part of human development and sexuality.

Anal Toys

What are anal toys?

Anal toys are adult toys used to stimulate the nerve endings in the rectum.

As children many of us may have learned that the rectum is a dirty, forbidden place. What many of us did not learn is that the anus is an erogenous zone for both men and women. So it comes as no surprise that anal toys have a certain stigma attached to them.

The rectum contains a collection of nerves which are used in the excretion process. Stimulating these nerves produces deep, pleasurable sensations. Anal toys provide a unique opportunity to explore these nerves and prostate stimulation. The prostate gland is associated with the nerves that trigger orgasm in the male and when it is massaged, the results can be electrifying.

How do I shop for anal toys?

When purchasing anal toys, examine what it is you want from the toy. Don't think you can fit something huge up your rectum if you've never tried to before. Look for anal toys which suit your lifestyle and desires. Be wary of products which could be potentially dangerous unless you know how to use them. These include fisting devices, spiked dildos and hard dildos. Such products can tear or puncture the rectum and colon if not used properly, and in the case of loosely connected anal beads, become lodged in the anus and have to be surgically removed. Look for anal toys that are sturdy, soft to the touch, pliable, rounded and come with an enlarged flange or handle at the end. When relaxed you'd be surprised how easily toys can get lost in the anal cavity.

First Timer?

Finding that first anal toy is challenging. There are so many to choose from and most people just don't know where to start. For all you first timers out there, we recommend the Little Flirt. This plug is manufactured from pure silicone, the best material for sex toys because of its non-porous surface and lifelike texture. Silicone is also extremely hygienic: to sterilize after use, just put the Little Flirt in boiling water for 30 seconds. A small, beautifully designed toy that is perfect for starters.

More experienced? Try the Big Flirt or an Invigorator

Type of stimulation

Butt plugs and other anal toys (used for masturbation and anal stimulation) often have ridges which further stimulate the nerves in the anus. When shopping for a butt plug make sure that it has a wide base which will not allow it to slip into your rectum. Look carefully at what the plug is made from and its shape. There are some plugs which profess to follow the natural curve of your rectum but since each body is a bit different you may wish to avoid any plug that enters the body more than 4 inches. Try to find a plug that is made of a somewhat soft material that will bend while it is in your rectum. Silicone and jelly butt plugs are usually a good place to start.

Another product which slowly stimulates the anus are anal beads. Sometimes referred to as "Oriental Love Beads" this anal toy looks like a bunch of marbles connected by a string. These beads are inserted into the rectum and are then slowly removed and pleasure arrives as each bead is pulled out of the opening. Some people enjoy having the beads removed at the point of climax. For men the stimulation of the prostate during orgasm can be extremely gratifying. When shopping for love beads make sure that the string connecting the beads is strong. Usually nylon cord is the best material for the beads. Additionally, you may find that the beads have some rough edges. These edges must be smoothed out before they are used to minimize cuts to the anus.

Other toys work as well

Toys which are thought to be for vaginal stimulation can be extremely satisfying when used anally. Electric vibrators can give intense stimulation to the outer regions of the anus which are very receptive to stimulation. Dildos are also generally acceptable for anal use. When shopping for a safe dildo intended for anal use, remember to look for a product with a wide bottom to prevent it from becoming lodged in the rectum. Also remember to find a product which is soft and pliable, to put the least amount of stress on the delicate tissue lining the rectum.

How do I use anal toys?

Anal toys are a safe form of enjoyment provided you use common sense and take the necessary precautions.

• use lubricant each and every time (we recommend Astroglide)

• always use toys with a flared base or handle

• if you are sharing your anal toys, cover the toy with a condom

• be gentle and try to follow the natural curve of the rectum

• if there is any pain, remove the toy and try again when you're more relaxed

• relax, relax, relax

• NEVER insert anything sharp into your rectum

Dildos

What is a dildo?

Dildos are a favorite of men and women alike, their existence dating back several millennia. When women become sexually aroused the vagina balloons and the uterus elevates; and it is only normal for some women to wish to feel the fullness of penetration. This does not mean that a dildo should be regarded as a surrogate for the penis, as a dildo can take on many different shapes and sizes. For example, take a look at the Faerie - Amethyst a unique design which produces unique sensations, or the very versatile Sport Black. For men, a dildo can offer stimulation of the prostate when used anally. Both hetero and homosexual men use dildos for self-pleasure and with their partners.

What should I look for in a dildo?

Finding the dildo that is right for you can be a very frustrating process. The range of sizes and features is overwhelming. Before buying a dildo, take a moment and think about what dildo is most likely to appeal to you. The key factors to look for in a dildo are shape, size and the type of material used.

1. Shape

When buying a dildo consider whether it is to be used anally, vaginally or both. If the dildo is going to be used for anal penetration, then you should look at butt plugs or dildos which have a flared base. A flared base prevents the dildo from going in too far.

The shapes of dildos these days is truly amazing. Some look like a penis complete with scrotum and testes while others may be shaped into recognizable figurines. The style of dildo that you choose is all based on personal preference. Some men and women may feel uncomfortable using something that so closely resembles a penis so there are other designs available to you. You can purchase a dildo that has an attachment which will gently massage the clitoris as it is used in the vagina. Watch out for adjustable or "bendable" dildos that have a hard plastic or metallic core. The harder material in the center can break the soft outer layer of rubber or silicone, potentially causing injury.

If you enjoy the traditional dildo shape, you might want to try the Crystal Jelly. This inexpensive 8-inch dildo is perfect for vaginal stimulation. The ridges and texture make this one of the better designed toys on the market. Use with a dab of water-based lubricant.


2. Size

When using a dildo for vaginal penetration, consider the width. Dildos can range anywhere from 1''to 3'' in diameter, measured at the widest point. You may wish to estimate the width you prefer with your fingers, but the only real way to tell is to experiment. Most women have some idea as to the size they prefer. Size considerations are different for anal toys. If you are beginning to experiment with anal toys then start off small and work your way up. See our section on anal toys for a more detailed discussion. If you think bigger is better, then you're not going to get much bigger than this realistic model.


3. Material

Dildos are made from a variety of different substances including rubber, wood, glass, plastic and silicone. Each substance has certain advantages and drawbacks. Silicone is considered to be the best material, albeit the most expensive. Silicone is the smoothest and most flexible of all the materials. The fact that a silicone dildo does not have tiny grooves or bumps in the surface makes it an easy toy to clean. Furthermore, it can be made to quickly heat up or cool down. Silicone dildos are a costly item with some models selling for more than $100. The average silicon dildo is priced at around $35.

If you're looking for the most realistic texture and all around most wonderful dildo - then spend the money on a silicone model. The Sport Black is specially curved for g-spot stimulation and ridged for maximum pleasure. Silicone will retain body heat and last a lifetime. To keep your silicone toy clean, you can boil it in water for a couple of seconds. Tip: You can place your silicone dildo in the microwave for 30 seconds before use. You'll appreciate the warmth!

Another possibility to check out are the e-glass dildos. These dildos can also be heated or cooled to your preference and offer a unique sexual experience with their smooth glass surfaces. Their elegant design allows them to double as fine glass art that can be kept and displayed on a shelf as opposed to hidden in a drawer.

Why would I want to use a dildo?

Dildos are a completely different form of penetration. They allow the person being penetrated to be in complete control of the range, speed and type of motion as well as the angle of penetration. Dildos have many benefits, only one of which is the pleasure of stimulating the vagina or anus.

When using a dildo, the user has the unique opportunity to fully control the speed of the thrusting. In addition, dildos allow the user to adjust the size and thickness of the penetration. Even if your partner’s penis or fingers offer a great deal of sexual pleasure, a dildo can supplement your typical lovemaking. A dildo can also provide a welcome change when you are masturbating, acting as another source of stimulation. Imagine controlled exploration of your body, without fear that a slip or misjudgment by your partner will cause pain or discomfort.

Dildos can also help contribute to better sexual health. Menopausal women can use dildos to help decrease the effects of menopause on the vaginal wall. Menopause often causes thinning of the vaginal walls. Regular use of a dildo will maintain vaginal tone by exercising the vaginal muscles. Dildos can also help lessen the effects of vaginismus. This is a condition where the muscles in the vagina become tense, which can make intercourse quite painful. A dildo allows controlled penetration to ease the tension, readying a woman for penetration by her partner.

How do I use a dildo safely?

You can probably guess that dildos are not the most difficult sex toys to use. Nonetheless, if dildos are not used properly then they can cause harm or discomfort.

Sharing dildos

Virtually all dildos are made from a porous substance (i.e. rubber, jelly, wood) and these materials can collect infected semen, blood, urine or vaginal discharge. When a person shares a dildo, they risk sharing infections and STDs as well. Whenever you are using dildos with multiple partners you should cover the dildo with a condom. Change the condom after every partner.

Keeping it clean

If you are using a dildo with a regular partner with whom you feel safe, then the precautions focus on keeping your dildo clean. A regular washing with soap and water can keep the dildo fairly clean. Silicone dildos, like the Sport Black do not have a porous surface, and therefore they do not have the same propensity to collect fluids. When using a dildo by yourself or with a partner make sure you wash the dildo thoroughly after each use. If you are moving from the vagina to the mouth or other part of the body, make sure that you wash the dildo well in between uses. Warm, soapy water is the best way to wash your dildo. Silicone dildos can be boiled to eradicate any infected fluids.

The anus contains bacteria that could be harmful to the rest of your body. Before using a dildo anally, always cover it with a condom. Remove the condom after each use. Whether with an old or new partner, it's important to protect your toys from the bacteria found in the rectum.

Keeping it wet

Whenever using a dildo, lubricant is a must. Ensure that you use a liberal amount of the slippery stuff, both on the dildo and in the vagina or anus. Lubricant allows for smooth and comfortable insertion and will aid in stimulation. A water-based lubricant (we recommend Astroglide) is absolutely necessary for anal penetration because the inside of the rectum tends to be sticky. Without lubricant you can tear the delicate tissues on the rectal lining or find it difficult to remove.

Respecting your partner

When using a dildo be respectful of yourself and your partner’s body. Dildos should be carefully because sudden pressure can cause discomfort. Always take it slow, speeding up as you feel more comfortable. For safe vaginal penetration, make sure that the dildo follows the natural path of the vagina. When using a dildo anally, go very slow following the natural curvature of the rectum. If at any moment you experience any discomfort, slowly remove or readjust the massager.

Using a dildo is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Solitary experimentation is a good place to start; you can determine which part of the dildo feels best to you. Report your findings to your partner. Once your partner knows what you like, it will be much easier to satisfy you.

You may also choose to use your dildo in combination with other toys. Try out some combinations for yourself.

Vibrators

What is a vibrator?

A vibrator is an electric device that massages areas of the body - used most often on the penis, vagina and anus. The most common use of vibrators is by women for masturbation, but many men use vibrators to supplement their sexual experiences as well. Vibrators come in all shapes, textures and sizes, each catering to a particular taste. With the thousands of vibrators on the market today, you'll almost certainly be able to find one that suits your taste. Those open to vibrators find they add an exciting dimension to everyday sex or masturbation. Some women describe the sexual feeling from a vibrator as one of the most intense possible.

What do I look for in a vibrator?

When people are shopping for vibrators, they normally shop from a mail-order catalog, pharmacy, department store or sex boutique. It can be difficult to ask questions about each vibrator because you will have to reveal a bit about your sexual preferences in the process. There are literally thousands of vibrators available in North America, each with its own benefits and shortfalls. This section is designed to help you sift through the many options and find the vibrator that is right for you.

Your tastes

The vibrator that you choose will have to be compatible with those who are going to use it. Is the vibrator just for you or is it for you and your partner? If you plan to use this vibrator as a couple then be sure that you and your partner shop for the vibrator together. Include your partner in the decision so that he or she can be most comfortable with the purchase. Sometimes men can be a little uncomfortable when a vibrator enters the picture, especially when it resembles their manhood! If your partner is a little uncomfortable, try the Pocket Rocket Classix Mini. This tiny vibe - designed specifically for external stimulation - is consistently one of best selling adult toys on the market. Women adore the direct clitoral stimulation. The Pocket Rocket Classix Mini is a perfect first vibrator for couples. But what about solo play?

Vibrators are most often used alone to make masturbation magical. And clearly the most important attribute of a vibrator is its ability to stimulate. So your first task to determine what type of stimulation you find most enjoyable. Let's start with the strength of vibration. The intensity of the vibrations will depend on what type of vibrator you choose. Electric plug-in vibrators usually produce the greatest intensity of vibration. These models typically come with a number of different settings, giving you a choice of intensities. Be aware that some of the lower settings are too much for some - so if subtle vibration is what you're looking for, look elsewhere. The most famous electric vibrator has to be the Hitachi Magic Wand. This model has become known across the world for its exceptional power. The vibrating head is shaped like a tennis ball and is used primarily for external stimulation. Because it's made by Hitachi, the quality and durability are beyond reproach. Women have been known to own their Magic Wand for a decade or more! But durability isn't what makes this model so popular. The Hitachi Magic Wand just seems to rub women in all the right places. It's so effective that sex therapists are known to recommend it to women with orgasmic difficulty. Those of you who think you would appreciate strong, intense vibrations may want to investigate the Hitachi Magic Wand further.

By contrast, battery powered vibrators usually provide more subtle vibration. It's a challenge to choose from the thousands of different models available. So begin with intensity of vibration. You can normally judge the intensity of vibration by the number of batteries required. A vibrator that takes two C batteries will be stronger than one that takes only AA batteries. Choosing your first vibrator however, is not just looking at battery requirements. Consider which areas of your body you would like to stimulate. Most sex toys are designed to massage a specific area of the body. The vast majority of vibrators on the market can be used for vaginal/clitorial/anal stimulation. A perfect example of the prototypical vibrator is the Slim Line Smooth. As the name suggests, this vibrator has a simple, smooth silver design. Most vibrators on the market mimic this style in some way or another. The pointed tip provides concentrated vibrations and the cool silver finish is any exciting addition to any bedroom. A great first vibe.

You Get What You Pay For

When you're shopping for your first vibrator, you may think that $80-$100 is pricey, but with vibrators you really do get what you pay for. Cheaper vibrators are great if you're interested in trying a vibrator for the first time - just don't expect it to last. Toys in the $20 range rarely last as long as you'd like them to. The point is: if you want a quality product, you're going to have to pay for it. Women looking for a quality toy should look at the Rabbit Pearl. Featured on Sex and the City, the Rabbit Pearl features one of the best motors in the industry. The rotating head provides incredible vaginal stimulation while the little bunny focuses on the clitoris. If you buy just one vibrator, then this is it.

Being a smart consumer

The price, durability and portability of a vibrator will undoubtedly influence your decision to buy one model over another. Electric vibrators are usually more expensive than their battery powered counterparts but last longer. Name brand vibrators, commonly referred to by most larger companies as ‘personal massagers’ are of the highest quality, but normally come at the highest price as well. As for battery powered vibrators, their most appealing attribute is the fact that they are portable. This means you can enjoy your toy at the cottage, while on vacation or even on a date! Remember to stock up on batteries, as these vibes tend to run themselves down quickly.

What is the difference between a vibrator and a dildo?

You may not have guessed it, but vibrators are not primarily used for vaginal penetration. If you thought they were, you might have been thinking about dildos, which are used for this purpose. Let's clarify the distinction between the two. Vibrators are quivering, electrical devices, and are used most often on the exterior of a woman's genitals for sexual stimulation. They can sometimes resemble the male sexual organ, but most popular brands do not represent any part of the human body whatsoever. Women can use vibrators to stimulate their clitoris, vulva, vagina and anus. Men can use vibrators to stimulate their penis and anus. Couples use vibrators together to enhance the pleasure of sexual intimacy.

On the other hand, dildos are often phallic in shape, although some models provide women and men alternative designs, such as figurines or even miniature statues. Since dildos don't vibrate they are most often used for anal or vaginal penetration. However, some women enjoy massaging their clitoris with their dildo as well.

Why would I want to use a vibrator?

For Women

Vibrators are often quite helpful to women who can't reach orgasm during masturbation or sex. Many women require constant, prolonged clitoral stimulation in order to achieve an orgasm, and the vibrator can provide the required stimulation. The unwavering vibrations on the clitoris and surrounding areas send many women into orgasm much more quickly than a hand, tongue or penis and in addition, produce a more intense climax. The device, however, is not just for sexual pleasure; vibrators also have many other sexual health benefits. For those women who have decreased mobility due to accident or disability, vibrators can be a wonderful, soothing addition. Women who have sore genitals because of a pregnancy can use a vibrator to ease their pain. Finally, women may experience reduced sensitivity as they age and the vibrator can be just the device to create the stimulation they were used to in their earlier years. Vibrators are a simple, versatile sexual toy for women who want to explore new avenues of sexual satisfaction.

For Men

Unfortunately, men have often overlooked the benefits of a vibrator. Men typically do not experience the same difficulty achieving orgasm that women sometimes do, so vibrators are not needed or desired. Yet, many men enjoy the vibrating sensation on their genitals. The vibrators that are made for men include vibrating sleeves, vibrating penis rings and anal toys but some men have no trouble using traditional "women's" vibrators on themselves. Men who use vibrators often describe similar experiences as women.

For Couples

For couples, vibrators enhance even the healthiest sexual relationship. A vibrator can provide mutual pleasure when a woman presses it against her clitoris during intercourse as the vibrations can also be felt by her mate. Vibrators can also be used to enhance oral sex, by placing the vibrator on the genitals while oral stimulation is being performed. Show your partner how you use your vibrator when alone, so he or she can learn which techniques provide the most intense sensations.

What are some ways to enhance the use of my vibrator?

Vibrators can produce some of the most profound sexual pleasure around (aside from your partner, of course!) You're only limited by your imagination when you learn how to use it to its fullest.

The first thing to do with a vibrator is to experiment with it. Test out the speeds and intensities of the different levels of vibrations (for those that are equipped) and find out what feels good for you. A vibrator can be pleasurable while you are on your back and directly massaging the erogenous area; on your stomach while your vibrator is nestled into the bed; or any other variation you find exciting.

If the vibrations are too powerful and you find them to be numbing rather than pleasurable, turn the speed of the motor down. If you can't change the speed of your vibrator, you can dull the vibrations by wrapping the vibrator in a towel or even a small pillow. Conversely, if you find the sensations too soft, try adding gentle pressure with the vibrator against the body. You may still find this is not enough, in which case you may want to get a more powerful vibrator.

Once familiar with the sensations produced by your vibrator, experiment a little. Here are a few suggestions.

Experiment with different types of vibrators.

Try to prolong stimulation. Use the vibrator until just before climax, take it away, relax, and begin again. Keep trying this until you can't wait any longer, and enjoy your orgasm. Many people find this to be the most long-lasting and pleasurable way to use their vibrator.

Enhance stimulation by other means. Some women enjoy using a dildo in their vagina while the vibrator gently massages the clitoris. Using some lubrication on the end of the vibrator will allow it to slide around easier on the genitals, and enhances the feeling of the vibrations. Use it on all of your body. Try using the vibrator in different places, warming you up for your favorite spot. Many vibrators are powerful enough to use pleasurably on the back, face, legs and feet.

Men may be a little apprehensive about trying a vibrator for the first time because they may be asking, what do I do with this? A vibrator is perfect for stimulating all areas of the genitals. The head, shaft and base of the penis, as well as the testicles and anus can all be stimulated enjoyably. Some men find that the vibrator is great to massage the area underneath the scrotum as they give themselves manual stimulation. This can produce a fantastic orgasm.

Tell the infoCenter about your favorite techniques...

Are there any techniques that you use with your vibrator that you would like others to know about? If so, then please confidentially submit these discoveries so that they can be added to our information center.

Cunnilingus

What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is the act of using the mouth to stimulate the female genitals. This can include sucking or licking the outer and inner areas of the vagina, and most often involves direct stimulation of the clitoris. Some women find cunnilingus to be the most satisfying sexual act. Indeed, a great number of women report that oral sex is the only way they can achieve orgasm. The mouth can create a uniquely intense range of sensations which many find unrivaled.

Techniques to better cunnilingus

The clitoris is central to female sexual arousal, as it contains most of the sexually charged tissues in the body. The logical first step for many lovers, therefore, is to directly stimulate the clitoris right off the bat. The catch is many women will not be very responsive to this jump-for-the-clitoris approach. Take things slow at first, kissing and licking her stomach and thighs, then the area around her clitoris. Build her arousal level slowly, gradually increasing pressure and speed with your mouth. Once you know she’s aroused (i.e. if she’s told you or motioned so) you can then move to the clitoris.

Many women enjoy a massage of the mons. The mons in the mound of skin which is found on top the pubic bone above the vaginal opening. Take one or both of your hands and carefully move the mons and surrounding area much the same way you would massage someone's shoulders. Be careful not to press too hard or make too wide a circular movement. As you manually stimulate the mons, you can move your mouth to the vulva. When soothing her vulva with your tongue, you may wish to concentrate solely on the clitoris after some stimulation of the labia or you may wish to lick the surrounding areas. Some women need constant clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm so ask your partner what she would have you do. Clitoral stimulation can be exciting but don't be too eager.

The way that you use your tongue is important. Provide different textures by altering the natural flex of your tongue. When your tongue hangs limp and flat, it provides a soft caress. When your tongue is flexed and rigid it provides more direct and firm stimulation. Try some of each and determine which your partner prefers. Some women will want rapid motions of continuous licking while others prefer long, slow caresses.

Lubricants are usually thought of in terms of penetration only, but they can add excitement during cunnilingus as well. You can try a nice water-based lubricant, such as Astroglide Strawberry. Lubricants come in a wide variety of flavors and help protect the sensitive tissues of the vagina during stimulation.

When a woman becomes sexually aroused her vagina balloons and her uterus rises. Women often enjoy the feeling of penetration during oral sex. This penetration can be well lubricated fingers or a dildo. While there is a wide selection of dildos on the market, some men may feel uncomfortable using a dildo that resembles a penis. A great solution to this problem is the E-glass line of dildos. The elegant design of these glass products allows them to double as inconspicuous art that can be kept on the shelf as opposed to hidden in a drawer. Gently follow the natural curvature of the vagina for smooth entry. If you find that it's a little difficult to coordinate everything you should try the Accommodator. You've got to see this one to believe it. It's a chin-mounted dildo. What will they think of next?

Performing better cunnilingus

Two things should accompany you any time that you engage in oral sex: being comfortable with yourself and your partner, and your ability to communicate.

Feeling comfortable

If you feel uncomfortable about performing or receiving oral sex, don't do it. It is better to stop, relax and communicate about your feeling with your partner before you begin. Oral sex involves very intimate areas, in the most intimate ways. It explores tastes, smells and feelings unlike any other form of lovemaking. Feeling comfortable about your body and your partner may take time, and you should take all the time you need. The results will be better for both of you.

Good Communication

You will never know what your partner wants or finds satisfying unless you talk to them. If it is your first time with a particular partner, communication may seem uncomfortable. Don't worry. Do you really think that your new partner will be annoyed or upset if you ask her what she wants? A vast majority of women will be quite pleased. Do not be discouraged if you partner offers you advice; be overjoyed because you are learning what they find pleasurable which will make you a better lover as a result. A sense of humor is another great way to ease any tension which may exist between new lovers. A light-hearted approach to your sexual encounter will make it more enjoyable for both of you.

Positioning for better cunnilingus

Before launching into a detailed discussion of techniques, let's consider the range of possible positions for cunnilingus. Each position will be uniquely satisfying, so it is best for you and your partner to experiment and determine which one(s) you prefer. Most couples begin with the woman sitting in a chair or on the bed. This gives full access to the genitals and support to the back so that the woman is relaxed and her hands are free to stimulate herself. The partner performing oral sex can lie or sit facing the woman, free to use his or her hands for stimulation with the fingers.

Another popular position is for the woman to squat on all fours over her lover's face as she or he is lying down. Some people prefer this position because it allows a woman to move her pelvis to accentuate the stimulation. This position also allows a couple to mutually stimulate one another (the so-called ‘69’) when it is performed each partner at opposite ends. If you are a more meticulous giver of oral sex, you may not like this position because it is difficult to place your tongue right where you want it. Couples who wish to engage in playful dominance-submissive role playing might like to try standing while the other partner performs oral sex on his or her knees.

In recent years, toys have been produced to mimic the sensations of cunnilingus. Introduced by Lady Carlston, The Tongue, is probably the most popular of these toys. The Tongue can be the perfect addition for couples who want to add to the sensations of regular cunnilingus, or for women who want to continue when their partner is not around.

Fellatio

What is fellatio?

Fellatio is oral sex performed on a man. One thing remains true in all oral sex encounters: good oral sex starts with good communication. Finding out what he likes will go a long way to performing satisfying oral sex. Usually it is best to ask a man after he has received oral sex so that he can recount what aspects he most enjoyed. Through a few easy principles you can learn what makes incredible fellatio possible.

Below we provide a general discussion of some techniques for better fellatio. If you're looking for a more detailed approach, we highly recommend Nina Hartley's Guide To Better Fellatio. Ms. Hartley explains and demonstrates various fellatio techniques, gives her own personal insights on arousing your partner, and shares her years of sexual experience. The best instructional video on the subject.

Techniques for fellatio: doing it right

Some issues and practical concerns regarding fellatio

Giving great fellatio is not a difficult task once you know where to begin. First, a word about semen. You may or may not enjoy the taste of semen (salty and sour with a somewhat viscous texture) depending on your partner or your own preferences. Semen tastes different depending on the man. If you prefer not to swallow or spit the semen, you may ask your partner to signal you when he reaches the point before climax. At this point, continue gentle stimulation with your hands.

You may also want to use condoms, which are highly recommended in the practice of safer sex anyway. Flavored condoms or a special Candy. will make it even more interesting. You can also try a nice water-based lubricant, such as Astroglide Strawberry. Lubricants come in a wide variety of flavors and can often help heighten the sensitivity of the penis during fellatio. A particularly good one to try out here is Good Head Gel, which comes in mint and cinnamon. This gel creates an exciting icy heat for the man while providing a delicious taste for his partner.

Another issue for many people is whether or not to "deep throat" or take the penis past the gag reflex in the throat. Many people have learnt how to control their gag reflex, but good fellatio does not depend on deep throating. Many men do not even notice when you do it.

There's more to fellatio than the penis

Too many people during fellatio concentrate solely on the penis. The penis does contain highly sensitive erectile tissue, but there are many other sexually sensitive areas on a man’s body. Unknown to many are the pleasures that men receive from having their entire genital area massaged. During oral sex the penis can be stimulated while these other areas are massaged. Many men like to have their scrotum and testes fondled or licked during oral sex. This could be as simple as placing your hand and cupping the scrotum, or as bold as taking the testes into your mouth. The most erogenous zones on a man’s genitals include the back of the head of the penis, the line of skin that runs down the center of the testicles, and the underside of the shaft of the penis. Try stimulating these areas with your tongue as well as taking the entire penis into the mouth.

Another form of stimulation that many men like is to have their perineum stroked. The perineum is the area in between the scrotum and the anus. This area is sensitive when the male is aroused. You may like to try rigorously massaging the perineum just prior to orgasm which gives many men a rush of pleasure. Some men like to have their prostate massaged during oral sex as well. This is accomplished by placing your finger up the man’s anus. Make sure that your fingernails have been cut short and place some lubricant on your finger. Gently run your hand from the perineum to the anus and massage the outside of the anus. Push your finger in the anus with your palm up. Slowly raise your finger until you feel a bump. This bump grows throughout age; it may be the size of a golf ball in young adulthood and the size of a pear in later life. Stimulation of the prostate is an incredible sensation that amazes most men.

The main event

Now that you have learned about stimulating the areas around the penis it is time to learn about how to stimulate the penis itself. While the penis is a generally sensitive organ, there are many areas of the penis which are not particularly responsive to stimulation. When learning how to give great fellatio you must concentrate on the most sensitive areas of the penis. The first area which is particularly sensitive is the frenulum. This is the area just below the head of the penis on the underside, and is perhaps the most sensitive part of the penis. The seam of the penis which runs from the scrotum to the head, the base of the penis, and the entire head of the penis are other sensitive areas. You can concentrate on these by licking or sucking just around the particular area.

Once you have the penis in your mouth there are a couple of guidelines which will make oral sex more pleasurable for your partner and less stressful for you. First of all, most men do not like the feeling of teeth on their penis. Teeth can cause discomfort and may even rip the skin if you are not careful. There are some men who like a little bit of the friction which teeth can provide but it is best to minimize teeth to penis contact. This is easily accomplished by tucking your lips around your teeth before you perform fellatio. A way to practice is to place your lips together and teeth apart. Open your lips slowly while keeping your teeth apart and there you have it. Another important aspect of fellatio is lubrication. Most people use their own saliva as lubrication. If you are using a condom for fellatio, try to buy an unlubricated variety. Lubricated condoms tend to have a bad taste. If you'd like to try lubricant during fellatio, you can purchase a flavored lubricant to turn a normal latex condom into something tasty, or use it on its own for a unique experience.

These and many other practical tips are available in Nina Hartley's Guide To Loving a Man. Porn-starlet Nina Hartley guides the viewer through all she knows about pleasing a man. The video is infused with humor and real honest advice. If you're looking for more general information on how to please a man, then take a look at this video.

Body placement during fellatio: make sure that you're both comfortable. There are numerous techniques and variety as they say is the spice of life.

Finding an agreeable position for fellatio is usually not a difficult task. The key aspects are that the man is comfortable and that the person performing fellatio has access to the genitals. With an erect penis there is an additional consideration; the person giving head should be positioned so that the angle of the penis and the angle of the giver’s throat are somewhat aligned.

A common position for fellatio is when the man receiving sits or lies on a bed with his partner kneeling or laying on the ground in front of him. This gives the person who is performing oral sex complete access to the penis, scrotum and anus. The position is also at a good angle for the throat so that entry of the penis into the mouth is not a problem. (Note: if you do not like the man receiving fellatio to stroke your hair or face during oral sex then tell him beforehand. It can be extremely non-erotic if both of you are turned off by his gesture.)

Another position that may interest you and your partner is to allow the man to very carefully insert and withdraw the penis from the mouth. Typically the performer of fellatio will lie comfortably on the bed and receive his or her partner from above. If you are trying this position for the first time then it may be a good idea to have the man hold the base of his penis so that the penis doesn't enter so far as to put pressure on your gag reflex.

You may also want to try mutual oral sex in the ‘69’ position. This can be accomplished either with one partner above on all fours, or laying on each other’s sides. In the case of male-female mutual oral sex, you may want to try having the man lay on his back so the woman can better control penetration in her mouth.

Rear-Entry Positions

Rear entry offers some types of stimulation that other positions can't. From behind, a man has more room to move and alter the thrusting movements he wishes to make. Likewise the female has a certain degree of movement that is impossible in other positions. She can work in tandem with her partner guiding the speed and depth of penetration.

Some couples do not find rear entry positions that enticing. Some complain that there is a lack of intimacy because the two partners cannot see each other in the passionate moments they are spending together. The male gets an intriguing view of his lover while the female normally must stare at the wall or bed. The addition of a mirror to the bedroom can reduce this effect. This way the two partners can see each other and if you set up the mirrors with some imagination, you can both witness your passion from any angle you choose.

Below we give you an overview of the rear entry position - if you would like a little more detail, try Sexual Positions For Lovers. Hosted by a Harvard trained sex therapist, this video shows real couples demonstrating a variety of unique positions.

The flower indicates positions which are a bit easier to manage for both partners or one partner in particular, and require a bit less stress for both.

The pretzel indicates positions that are a bit more advanced than the usual fare.

Regardless of the position you choose, it is always important to practice safer sex. We highly recommend Crown Condoms, from Okamoto, the makers of Beyond Seven. This is the thinnest condom on the market, providing the highest level of sensitivity possible combined with the quality and uncompromising safety that comes with the Okamoto name.

The Rear Entry Position Described

Also known by some as "doggy style" the rear entry position is fairly easy to assume. The woman gets either on her hands and knees or lays stomach first on the bed with her lover behind her. He is on his knees or sometimes his feet, and develops leverage by grasping on to her hips. Depending on preference the man's legs can be inside of the women's legs or outside of them. Couples may wish to have the woman's legs closer together because it creates more friction between the penis and vagina.

In this position a man has a great deal of freedom for thrusting. Her movement is somewhat restricted but this can be easy modified with an ottoman or low bed. The woman can then rest the upper half of her body on a supporting structure. This in turn gives her more freedom to move her hips and pelvis. The rear entry position offers the couple a chance at experiencing new sensations because the angle of entry is different while deep thrusting is made much easier. All these factors contribute to a particularly intense experience if you are with the right partner. Most men find that it is difficult to prolong their orgasm while in this position. The stimulation is often too intense or overwhelming. Consequently the couple may wish to save the rear entry position as a way to end their lovemaking session.

Adding to The Rear Entry Position 1: Forward for Pleasure

While the man lies on his back on the bed, the female approaches him and straddles his hips with her back to him. Many people may have tried this position because it is a simple variant of the woman on top position. The true joy comes when she leans forward as far as she can. Some women may want to grab onto their partner's legs and pull themselves down to the bed. In so doing she drastically alters the angle of penetration. Some couples may find that it is uncomfortable until they adjust the angle of her hips a little. Once this adjustment has taken place she will find sensations unlike any other. She can then rock back and forth with his legs for support or he may wish to support her hips with his arms to assist her movement.

Although it is very pleasurable this position provides little clitoral stimulation. Consequently women who enjoy direct clitoral stimulation may not enjoy this position as much as their partner.

Adding to the Rear Entry Position 2: The chair revisited

That wonderful recliner can be used for another very satisfying, very relaxing sexual position. This one is particularly great for those men who have limited mobility due to accident or illness. The male just sits comfortably upright in a chair while the woman sits down on his lap as if she was using the chair as well. Her back is pressed to his chest. The onus is on the female to provide all the movement in this position but this movement is extremely easy. With the support of her arms the female can use her legs to move rapidly or slowly depending on the couple's preferences.

If a chair is not convenient for you then you may wish to try a similar position on your bed. Here the male kneels down with his buttocks on his ankles. The female is directly in front of him allowing themselves to be elegantly joined. There is not a great deal of movement available to the couple but this position is very sensual and is recommended for afterplay. When the couple is sitting joined, the male can fondle her breasts or even massage her back. Often it is very satisfying just to sit and hold her with soft music in the background. From this position you both can move in unison and lay down on your sides allowing greater comfort for both partners. Intercourse does not have to revolve around thrusting; it can be slow, intimate and tender.

Adding to The Rear Entry Position 3: Face down

One of the most common modifications for the rear entry position is involves the female lying face down on the bed with her legs spread apart. The male then straddles the female's thighs from behind. To facilitate easy entry it is useful to place a pillow underneath her abdomen to shift the angle of her hips. Also she can place a pillow beneath her head for added comfort.

Most men will find that establishing a rhythm with this position is quite difficult. The problem is that the penis has a tendency to slip out of the vagina forcing the couple to restart their lovemaking. Take your time and start with slow shallow thrusts until you have managed to coordinate a balanced rhythm.

Adding to The Rear Entry Position 4: Face Up

Lounging while lovemaking is true bliss. It gives the couple time to discuss how they feel about the moment which can fuel the fires of passion. Expanding your repertoire should include some positions dedicated to the relaxing coital pleasures. This one is a very simple variation on the Face Down position. The male lies on his back on the bed while the woman lays on him with her back pressed against his chest. For the men who can support her weight comfortably this position is a delight. It allows the man easy access to the clitoris which can be massaged during the act. This position is excellent for pregnant couples because it puts no stress on the front part of a woman’s body.

Spicing up this position is quite easy. Massage oils can be applied by the male to the female's breasts, shoulders and stomach. Some oils will heat up when they are applied which can add extra stimulation to the experience. If you are using condoms make sure that no oil comes into contact with the condom that is in use. Other interesting ideas to add to this position may be a vibrator. She can hold a powerful vibrator near her clitoris which vibrates the vagina as well. Both male and female will experience the stimulation and rejoice in its pleasure.

Adding to the Rear Entry Position 5: Spoons

The spoons position is excellent as a relaxing, simple position virtually anyone can enjoy. Both partners face the same direction and lay on their sides, man behind woman. The man may have to slightly angle his body so that entry is more easily facilitated. Although thrusting and movement is inhibited in this position, it is very close and intimate and may be a perfect way to begin lovemaking.