Vaginal Sex

Good sex is a potpourri of different ingredients, all of which combine to make the act pleasurable and memorable. This section will take you briefly through some of the ingredients of good vaginal sex, and while intended for all readers, will focus on heterosexual lovemaking.

Overall, intercourse is an intimate encounter like all the other activities described in this guide. Like these other activities, intercourse demands a little bit of know-how and a lot of communication with your partner.

Women, orgasms and intercourse

Some women have no problem reaching orgasm from simple vaginal penetration because the movement of the labia can provide some clitoral stimulation while the nerve endings inside the vagina are delicately engorged. Still there are many women (some estimates would say as high as 60%) who for anatomical or psychological reasons can't reach orgasm from penetration alone. This isn't because something’s wrong! Sexual intercourse alone doesn't treat the clitoris to direct stimulation, it almost ignores this important erogenous area altogether.

A woman who wants to become orgasmic has a variety of options to try. One of the most useful and enjoyable is a well kept secret sometimes referred to as the T-position. Begin by the female partner laying on her back. The man, laying perpendicular (making a ‘t’), straddles the woman’s leg farthest from him. For example, if the man lays on the left side of the woman, he straddles her right leg. The other leg lays atop the man. This position exposes the clitoris for stimulation, which either partner can do. Use a water-based lubricant (we recommend Astroglide) and tenderly massage the clitoris while slowly rocking back and forth, thrusting the penis gently in and out. While this double stimulation is very gratifying, most important is how relaxing and intimate it is. Sometimes it's difficult to provide the required stimulation manually so employ a vibrator. Vibrators are designed to provide intense clitoral stimulation. During intercourse, you may want something small and unobtrusive such as the Fukuoku 9000 finger vibe. This little vibrator fits on the end of a finger and can provide intense stimulation. Couples find this method relaxing because they are able to lay down, neither partner having to hold his or her weight, and intimate because with a little adjustment you can talk, enjoy wine or just gaze into one another’s eyes. Being comfortable, relaxed, and stimulated properly is the key for some women to becoming orgasmic.

Women who would like a little extra stimulation can also try ID Pleasure, a high-market lubricant containing L-Arginine. L-Arginine is a non-essential amino acid which, through clinical testing, has been shown to enhance sexual arousal in women. When ID Pleasure is applied to the clitoris and vaginal walls for lubrication the L-Arginine will increase the blood flow to the region, heightening sensitivity. Heightened sensitivity, in turn, naturally results in a greater responsiveness to sexual stimulation. One of the added benefits to ID Pleasure is that it will also increase a man's blood flow, creating a stronger erection and increased stimulation.

Another method changes the way the woman is entered, creating an angle that better stimulates the clitoris. First, the woman lies on her back with her legs shut. Spread some lubricant (not too copiously) on the man’s penis or dildo if you're using one. Entry now should cause more stimulation to the clitoris, and more friction at the nerve-rich surface of the vagina. Many men also find that it is a very nice feeling on their penis. For a variation, the man can face his partner's legs and then the most sensitive part of the penis (frenulum) comes in contact with the clitoris. Finally, you may wish to use a vibrator during intercourse. A quality electric vibrator is powerful enough to provide stimulation to both the clitoris and the penis. Using a vibrator with the T position offers a nice way to stimulate both the woman and man. If you're interested in vibrations for two - the Hitachi Magic Wand is sure to deliver. It's a powerful electric vibrator which we consider to be one of the best vibrators on the market. If you prefer a battery operated vibrator, you should consider the Pocket Rocket. It and its quiet cousin, the Silent Pocket Rocket, combine excellent power in small packages. Alternatively, you can try the Tongue II, the strongest battery vibe on the market with its four required batteries.

To thrust or not to thrust

More thrusting does not necessarily mean more fun. Many couples enjoy insertion and then a simple rocking back and forth. This can be extremely satisfying because it allows both partners to relax with one another. Other couples enjoy shallow thrusting because it provides a great deal of mutual stimulation. Whatever you prefer, remember that the most sensitive nerve endings in the vagina are near the opening, and therefore constant stimulation of that area can be gratifying. For the male, shallow penetration allows constant stimulation of the head of the penis and specifically the frenulum which are both squeezed by the vaginal muscles located near the vaginal opening. If you do not know what type of thrusting your partner likes you can exchange positions. One partner can be on top and dictate the rhythm of penetration and then after a while exchange positions. This is a way to mutually determine what sort of rhythm you will have during vaginal intercourse.

Thrusting is made more enjoyable with lubricant. Sometimes a woman does not produce a sufficient amount of natural lubrication on her own, and lubrication on both the vagina and penis are helpful for better sex. Prolonged sex can also deplete natural lubrication, and creams or oils can be applied at intervals along the way.