Cunnilingus

What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is the act of using the mouth to stimulate the female genitals. This can include sucking or licking the outer and inner areas of the vagina, and most often involves direct stimulation of the clitoris. Some women find cunnilingus to be the most satisfying sexual act. Indeed, a great number of women report that oral sex is the only way they can achieve orgasm. The mouth can create a uniquely intense range of sensations which many find unrivaled.

Techniques to better cunnilingus

The clitoris is central to female sexual arousal, as it contains most of the sexually charged tissues in the body. The logical first step for many lovers, therefore, is to directly stimulate the clitoris right off the bat. The catch is many women will not be very responsive to this jump-for-the-clitoris approach. Take things slow at first, kissing and licking her stomach and thighs, then the area around her clitoris. Build her arousal level slowly, gradually increasing pressure and speed with your mouth. Once you know she’s aroused (i.e. if she’s told you or motioned so) you can then move to the clitoris.

Many women enjoy a massage of the mons. The mons in the mound of skin which is found on top the pubic bone above the vaginal opening. Take one or both of your hands and carefully move the mons and surrounding area much the same way you would massage someone's shoulders. Be careful not to press too hard or make too wide a circular movement. As you manually stimulate the mons, you can move your mouth to the vulva. When soothing her vulva with your tongue, you may wish to concentrate solely on the clitoris after some stimulation of the labia or you may wish to lick the surrounding areas. Some women need constant clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm so ask your partner what she would have you do. Clitoral stimulation can be exciting but don't be too eager.

The way that you use your tongue is important. Provide different textures by altering the natural flex of your tongue. When your tongue hangs limp and flat, it provides a soft caress. When your tongue is flexed and rigid it provides more direct and firm stimulation. Try some of each and determine which your partner prefers. Some women will want rapid motions of continuous licking while others prefer long, slow caresses.

Lubricants are usually thought of in terms of penetration only, but they can add excitement during cunnilingus as well. You can try a nice water-based lubricant, such as Astroglide Strawberry. Lubricants come in a wide variety of flavors and help protect the sensitive tissues of the vagina during stimulation.

When a woman becomes sexually aroused her vagina balloons and her uterus rises. Women often enjoy the feeling of penetration during oral sex. This penetration can be well lubricated fingers or a dildo. While there is a wide selection of dildos on the market, some men may feel uncomfortable using a dildo that resembles a penis. A great solution to this problem is the E-glass line of dildos. The elegant design of these glass products allows them to double as inconspicuous art that can be kept on the shelf as opposed to hidden in a drawer. Gently follow the natural curvature of the vagina for smooth entry. If you find that it's a little difficult to coordinate everything you should try the Accommodator. You've got to see this one to believe it. It's a chin-mounted dildo. What will they think of next?

Performing better cunnilingus

Two things should accompany you any time that you engage in oral sex: being comfortable with yourself and your partner, and your ability to communicate.

Feeling comfortable

If you feel uncomfortable about performing or receiving oral sex, don't do it. It is better to stop, relax and communicate about your feeling with your partner before you begin. Oral sex involves very intimate areas, in the most intimate ways. It explores tastes, smells and feelings unlike any other form of lovemaking. Feeling comfortable about your body and your partner may take time, and you should take all the time you need. The results will be better for both of you.

Good Communication

You will never know what your partner wants or finds satisfying unless you talk to them. If it is your first time with a particular partner, communication may seem uncomfortable. Don't worry. Do you really think that your new partner will be annoyed or upset if you ask her what she wants? A vast majority of women will be quite pleased. Do not be discouraged if you partner offers you advice; be overjoyed because you are learning what they find pleasurable which will make you a better lover as a result. A sense of humor is another great way to ease any tension which may exist between new lovers. A light-hearted approach to your sexual encounter will make it more enjoyable for both of you.

Positioning for better cunnilingus

Before launching into a detailed discussion of techniques, let's consider the range of possible positions for cunnilingus. Each position will be uniquely satisfying, so it is best for you and your partner to experiment and determine which one(s) you prefer. Most couples begin with the woman sitting in a chair or on the bed. This gives full access to the genitals and support to the back so that the woman is relaxed and her hands are free to stimulate herself. The partner performing oral sex can lie or sit facing the woman, free to use his or her hands for stimulation with the fingers.

Another popular position is for the woman to squat on all fours over her lover's face as she or he is lying down. Some people prefer this position because it allows a woman to move her pelvis to accentuate the stimulation. This position also allows a couple to mutually stimulate one another (the so-called ‘69’) when it is performed each partner at opposite ends. If you are a more meticulous giver of oral sex, you may not like this position because it is difficult to place your tongue right where you want it. Couples who wish to engage in playful dominance-submissive role playing might like to try standing while the other partner performs oral sex on his or her knees.

In recent years, toys have been produced to mimic the sensations of cunnilingus. Introduced by Lady Carlston, The Tongue, is probably the most popular of these toys. The Tongue can be the perfect addition for couples who want to add to the sensations of regular cunnilingus, or for women who want to continue when their partner is not around.